hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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