Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
