I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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