There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
