piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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