Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
