She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i think i just lost a toe
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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