dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
