I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
