I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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