i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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