i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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