Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
