Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
