I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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