Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
