Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
