Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
