I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
