Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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