I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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