And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My friends, they love my intelligence
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
