So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
