Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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