I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
only if we run a train.
done.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
