hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
40s are totally the cure
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
