I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
