MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
