he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
