no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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