Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
