I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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