Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
