turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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