I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
