I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
