the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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