every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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