I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
