Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let's get the cat blown out
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
