glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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