What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
