I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
