I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I can't turn off my feet"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
