My room smells like vodka and shame
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
