worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
