so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
