You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
