I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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