Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
