its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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