I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
